My Dream...

My dream is to be with you
…To love and to care
…...share my life with.

I want to serve the Lord with you
…to sleep at night with my arms around you
to wake up in the morning seeing you

I want to be the mother of your kids,
You are the one I want to grow old with..

God has blessed me with things more than I've asked for
But it is you I am waiting
… It is you who is lacking in my life
… It is you who makes me complete.

I LOVE YOU...

at times life is so unfair but it doesnt mean we should give up on it.. move but never let your love for him be forgotten, you can love him still but love more yourself,,,Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel, sometimes we jsut have to go with ..... "whatever happens-happens"

im so sorry...

I guarantee that we'll have tough time; I guarantee that in some point, one of us would want to get out; I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret this for the rest of my life, 'coz I know in my heart...you're the only one for me.--i love you babe!

why i love u soo much...

Why I always been too emotional when it comes to you, while reading those messages for you from other girls it makes my heart felt it turn into pieces, im too selfish for love the thing i dont want to share with anybody!--never been inlove like this before and the day i dont want to come when u go away and seperates our ways, dont know how to pick those pieces u've left, but im holding on to your promises that you will go no where.i never felt cared before and from you i found everything, u thought me how to find the true happiness and felt the love never felt in my entire life....

Love is something to feel with one's heart & soul. It disguises itself in many ways, and only with an open heart and open mind will it appear. If love were easily obtained it wouldn't be a grand, for it would be another common thing all would have, and we know that's not so...Love is complicated because it tests us and makes us live in reality..Love is complicated because it makes us dwell in the world of fantasy...it is hard as the saying goes.."anything worth having is worth the risk"..

All i know I LOVE YOU soo much!.. babe keep holding on!

love......

love sometimes moves in it's own mysterious ways that we can never question. It's something that we just have to openly and unconditionally accept.we cannot take what doesn't belong to us and only keep what is ours. we may be able to get something we want but if it is not really meant for us then we would only be able to hold it for a fleeting moment and it will be gone sooner than we wanted to keep it.

Angels brought me here....

"We may not always know the moment that love begins, but we always know when it ends."...

It's been a long and winding journey, but i'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces, and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory, where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling, when i look into your eyes...

My dreams came true, when i found you
I found you, my miracle...

If you could see, what i see, that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

tanding here before you, feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love, every heartbeat speaks your name...

My dreams came true, right here in front of you
My miracle...

If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

Brought me here to be with you,
I'll be forever grateful (oh forever Faithful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle...

If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...
Yes they brought me here...
If you could feel, the tenderness i feel...
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hardest part of loving is when we have to love from afar. Distance is sometimes the ultimate factor that decides whether two people in love would falter to succeed. It can be a poison that can slowly paralyze even the healthiest of relationships.But I do Believe that time and distance can never stand against two people who are destined for each other.--- i LOVE U BABe!

My Fave Song must be played on my wedding day..

ONLY TIME....

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your hearth chose, only time?

Who can say why your heart sights,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be ,in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart.....

Who can say if your love groves,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?

Who knows? Only time
Who knows? Only time

http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/only%2Btime%2Bby%2Benya/video/x1ku5h_only-time_music

I Wish......

I wish that you could feel
My arms about you tight,
Holding you up close
All thru out the night.

To know that I am there
And never away far,
That I will remain
Where ever that you are.

That you could press back
Into my warm embrace,
And feel my soft touch
Warm against your face.

Or you could shift your hips
And press against me tight,
To feel my body's heat
And my lips kissing you light.

I wish that you could hear
My softly whispered song,
To lull you into sleep
For it's here that we belong.

That you could hear me say
All you need to hear,
As I tell you of my love
Whispered soft against your ear.

And you could feel my breath
Warm against your skin,
As I let my presence beg you
To let this true love in.

I wish that I could hold you
And whisper long into your night,
Never would you wonder then
As I held you to me tight...

One of my Fave sOng...

Stay
by: Ric Segreto

Who would have thought we'd feel this way
Finding a million things to say
Knowing our dream is coming true
So, girl come here and lay down by my side
Give me the love that's in your eyes
It'll be good just holding on tight
And share in the night.

So stay and we'll explore each other, stay
And see what we'll discover, hey
There's so much of you that I don't know
And though, it may not last forever, oh
It feels so right together, no
We just can't let it go.

Now that I'm listening to your side
Seeing the laughter in your eyes
Even the warmth of loving you.
Here, here in your arms it last a long
Lost in a glow I never know
Now that I found you
Just don't let it endI wanna love you again...

I've had enough of being on my own
The emptiness of waking up alone
But when the morning finds we're lying here
We smile and say hello
Don't ask why, it's you and I...

LOve.........

Love is always a surprise.It hits you at the most unexpected time,place,person and situation. --Love is never about playing it safe.It is about risks! There will always come a time that we have to stop loving someone,not because the person started hating us,but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel inside.--I miss you right now!hate this kind of feeling...feeling of emptiness!

Scripture About FORGIVENESS...

"Lord give me the WILL , the STRENGTH of HEART to do your will and whatever YOU desire from me."

Today's Scripture “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
Today's Word When you’ve been hurt or offended, sometimes it’s tempting to hold on to unforgiveness. But we have to remember, when people wrong us, our battle is not against flesh and blood. In other words, that person who hurt you is not the real enemy. The Bible says that your adversary is the devil, and he knows that if you don’t forgive, then your prayers won’t be effective. Unforgiveness puts up a barrier in your life to the power of God. In fact, if we don’t forgive others, we can’t be forgiven by God. But when you choose forgiveness, you open the door for God’s healing power to flow through your life. Disarm the enemy in your life today by choosing forgiveness. Bless those who curse you and pray for those who wrong you. Look at what Jesus did—when He was betrayed, beaten, mocked, and disrespected, He chose forgiveness. As you follow His example, you will open the door for God to move in your life, and you’ll live in victory in every area of your life!
A Prayer for Today Heavenly Father, thank You for forgiving me and giving me new life. I choose today to extend the gift of forgiveness to others. I bless those who have wronged me and ask You to heal every broken place in my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Finding and Keeping a LIFE PARTNER...

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct”, there’s a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again:"You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.QUESTION...1: Do we share a common life purpose?Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for20or 30 years, that's a long, time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.Two things can happen in a marriage:(1) You can grow together, or(2) You can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished”; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";.So ask about your Significant other What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving,we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. . . . How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; Can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.Another perspective. ...There are some people in your life that need to beloved from a distance.... It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention....Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sitin the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important .Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:1. TRUST2. COMMUNICATION3. INTIMACY4. A SENSE OF HUMOR5. SHARING TASKS6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENTIf these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace it.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,Trials keep You Strong,Sorrows keep You Human,Failures keep You Humble,Success keeps You Glowing,But......... Only GOD KEEPS YOU GOING!

Send My Love to HeavEn..

Awww.. this made me cry! -- ..we should take up all our courage and do something our heart tells us to do so that we may not regret not doing it later in our life!--We always try to look for the best but when we finally see it, we never recognized it was the best, and expecting to find a better one, madalas hindi natin yun pinapansin, not knowing it was the best...until the time we finally loose it.---be careful in ignoring things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you will realize that the one you ignored is the very thing you've been wishing for.

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...
She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.
She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back and then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Marge, what's yours?" I answered, "My name is Steven but then you can call me Steve." She smiled and said, "Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, "Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!"
So that's how it started. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Marge was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Marge and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Marge crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.
The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.
As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.
Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.
We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Marge grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.
Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."
Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.
So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her, "I love her". So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.
It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Steve if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Steve?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!"I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.
Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Marge. Marge's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.
We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went to search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress that Marge was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.
Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.
The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.
So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.
It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Marge. I then asked, "Hi Joy! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Marge. I kind of miss her you know. Mmm by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."
I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree, Marge and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss MArge gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Marge more than I thought. Then Joy stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Marge."
I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up. I stared at Joy in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and she slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.
I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........
****************************** I know by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Steve, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.
Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.
What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.
Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.
P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.
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I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."