How to recognize your soulmate

The first time I wrote about soulmates on 14 February 1987 in a magazine supplement of a major Philippine newspaper, it was an instant sensation. People started talking about it and many even clipped, reproduced and distributed it to close friends.

The first to talk about soul mates and describe their characteristics ws an American psychic and prophet, Edgar Cayce, who died in 1945. In one trance reading,he defined soul mates as two souls, who after a series of reincarnations together become so close to each other that their destinies are intertwined, and one becomes a helpmate to the other in his or her soul evolution. One is the perfect half of the other, making up a whole piece. You can't have one without the other.

After I wore the article on soul mates, the term became popular in the local media and even in casual conversations. It has also generated a lot of questions, the most common of which is, "How do I know if I have met my soul mate?" The following then are the characteristics of a soul mate encounter: first, an irrisistible force that draws the two together; second, there is absolute certainty that the personis one's soul mate; third, the relationship is total and complete at all levels of their being; fourth, absence of guilt, and fifth, it is soul expanding. Let's discuss the characteristics in a more detailed manner.

Irrisistible Force. When it's time for the soul mates to meet, there is nothing on earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located on planet Earth. They will surely meet. No social, moral, political, racial,legal or religious barrier can set them apart.

Chronological or physical age does not matter. They may be years apart in age, but what is important in a soul mate encounter is that they have the same soul age, not necessarily the same chronological age. They share the same pattern of soul evolution.

Absolute Certainty. When soul mates meet, they recognize each other from the very depths of their souls or being. Sometimes, their mind or intellect may fight the soul recognition probably because of social or religious considerations. But deep in their very souls, they know they are meant for each other. This is evident at the very first meeting. Intuitively, they will know.

Should there be mutual recognition, or is it enough that one knows even if the other doesn't? In a true soul mate encounter, there is at once soul recognition by both partners. They know they have met their other half.

Relationship is total. Most of our relationships with other people are not based on the totality of our being but only on some aspects of it. For instance, one may relate to another on a purely physical level like a one-night stand of sex with an acquaintance or a paid partner. Or one may relate to another on a purely mental state of professional basis, like a business partnership or commercial encounter. Or one may relate to another on a purely spiritual level, like a priest to his parishioners or a friendship that is platonic.

In a soul mate encounter, one relates to the other in totality of his or her being. The relationship is at once physical, etheric, emotional, mental astral and spiritual, with the mental and spiritual levels playing a more important role compared to the other levels. That is why a soul mate encounter is so strong and so irrisistible.

Absence of Guilt. Because of centuries of religious teachings based on fear, sin and eternal damnation, people grow up having a lot of guilt feelings.

A very strong attraction one has towards the opposite sex, for instance, can generate unwanted feelings of guilt. Such an attraction can be mistaken for a mere lust. But in the real soul mate encounter, there is no feeling of guilt at all. You are sure it is the right thing to do, or it is the proper feeling, no matter what the circumstances are.

According to General Jampolsky, "Love is letting go of fear," paraphrasing the basic teaching found in A Course in Miracles which was dictated by a highly evolved spirit to Helen Schucman in the seventies. "The opposite of love is fear," the course says, "not hate."

Soul Expanding. A soul mate helps you in your soul evolution. He or she is not a bed mate or a sex partner alone. The very term indicates that a soul mate is the companion of the soul in its ever arduous journey towards perfection.

A soulmate encounter is spiritually uplifting. And although the other aspects of one's being, like the physical and emotional levels, are also satisfied, the spiritual aspects of the relationship are ever present and are manifested in various ways.

A soul mate leads you to God and to your spiritual destiny. He or she helps you achieve faster soul evolution and awareness. If it doesn't do this, it is not a soul mate encounter; it may be something else masquerading as one.

There may be other characteristics of soul mate relationships, but the above should give you an idea of what a soul mate could be.

Another question often asked is: Why do we seldom meet our soul mate? In fact, many find themselves married to a non-soul mate. Why?

The simplest answer is karma. We still have to work out our karma with other individuals before we are ready to meet our soul mate. So it is not advisable to be in search of one's soul mate. He or she will come when the time for your meeting is already at hand. You may have decided this in a previous lifetime together with your soul mate. In the meantime, you have to learn to accept your present love partner for there is always a reason why you are with a particular person.