My Business Loss

I was inspired to read this article, and want to share also.

Many years ago, I lost a lot of money in a businesses venture.
It was a big loss for me. At that time, I lost almost my entire net worth.
I was tempted to mope, to sulk, to carry a heavy burden for a long time.
Actually, I allowed myself to grieve for awhile—which was very healthy.
But I decided not to grieve for too long, or I would be stuck forever.
After some time, I declared, “God has something better for me.”
I chose to smile. I chose to look at the brighter side. I chose to believe that better businesses would come my way. In fact, I began declaring the unbelievable. I said, “I’ll earn ten times what I lost!”
Later that week, a friend asked me, “Is it true that you lost a lot of money in that business?”
I said, “Yes, I did.”
“It happens to you too, huh? And I thought people like you are exempt from these things. So why are you smiling?”
“Because I believe God is redirecting me to a better business. And I know that I’ll earn ten times what I lost.”
It was a big claim and some friends couldn’t understand why I was so relaxed.
But a few years later, what I declared happened.
I started new businesses and I began to earn ten times what I lost. What I lost—my savings for years—I earned in a few months. Today, my new businesses are multiplying. I ask myself sometimes, “What if I didn’t fail in that business? I would still be stuck in that business! I wouldn’t have the new business that I have now.”
And imagine if kept moping and sulking—would I have seen the new opportunities around me? Imagine if I kept mourning my loss—would I have had the energy to venture into something new?
Friend, don’t focus at the problems in your life.
Don’t focus on what you loss.
Instead, focus on two things: look at what you still have and look at the new things that God will give you.
And be grateful.

This is something we should all read at least once a week.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

The Inspiring George Carlin

very inspiring message something we need to think about in life...

This is an awesome piece. If you have not read it, take the time to read it now. If you have read it, take time to read it again! GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...and George followed her, dying July 2008)

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.



George Carlin

True Love & Care

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain.
Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil
with their backs towards the sky.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me.
I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around
me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from
my father’s drawer. Father had discovered about the
stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the
wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand.
“Who stole the money?” he asked.
I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us
admitted to the fault, so he said, “Fine, if nobody
wants to admit, you two should be beaten!”
He lifted up the bamboo stick.

Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father’s hand and
said,” Dad, I was the one who did it!”

The long stick smacked my brother’s back repeatedly.
Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my
brother until he lost his breath.

After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded
my brother, “You have learned to steal from your own
house now. What other embarrassing things will you be
possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to
death, you shameless thief!”

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His
body was full of wounds from the beating but he never
shed a single tear.

In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out
loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little
hand and said, ” Sis, now don’t cry anymore.
Everything has happened.”
I still hate myself for not having enough courage to
admit what I did.

Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it
just happened yesterday.
I will never forget my brother’s ___expression when he
protected me.

That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11
years old.
When my brother was in his last year of secondary
school, he was accepted in an upper
secondary school in the central. At the same time, I
was accepted into a university in the province.
That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking,
packet by packet.

I could hear him ask my mother, “Both of our children,
they have good results? very good results?”
Mother wiped off her tears and sighed,” What is the
use? How can we possibly finance both of them?”
At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front
of father and said,”Dad, I don’t want to continue my
study anymore, I have read enough books.”

Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his
face.
“Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it
means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will
send you two to school until you have both finished
your study!”
And then, he started to knock on every house in the
village to borrow money.

I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother’s
swollen face, and told him, “A boy has to continue his
study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this
poverty we are experiencing.”

I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my
study at the university.
Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my
brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out
clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of
the bed and left a note on my pillow; “Sis, getting
into a university is not easy. I will go find a job
and I will send money to you.”
I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried
until I lost my voice.

That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years
old.
With the money father borrowed from the whole village,
and the money my brother earned from carrying cement
on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed
to get to the third year of my study in the
university.

One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate
came in and told me,”There’s a villager waiting for
you outside!”
Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked
out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body
was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked
him, “Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my
brother?”

He replied with a smile,” Look at my appearance. What
will they think if they would know that I am your
brother? Won’t they laugh at you?”
I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept
away dirt and dust from my brother’s body. And told
him with a lump in my throat, ” I don’t care what
people would say! You are my brother no matter what
your appearance is?”

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He
put it on my hair and said, “I saw all the girls in
town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have
one.”
I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my
brother into my arms and cried.

That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years
old.
I noticed that the broken window was repaired the
first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was
scrubbed cleaned.

After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl
in front of my mother, “Mom, you didn’t have to spend
so much time cleaning the house!” But she told me with
a smile,” It was your brother who went home early to
clean the house. Didn’t you see the wound on his hand?
He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window.”
I went into my brother’s bedroom. Looking at his thin
face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked
in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandag on
it, “Does it hurt? ” I asked him.
“No, it doesn’t hurt. You know, when at the
construction site, stones keep falling on my feet .
Even that could not stop me from working.”
In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my
back on him and tears rolled down my face.

That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years
old.
After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times
my husband invited my parents to come and live with
us, but they didn’t want.

They said, once they left the village,they wouldn’t
know what to do.
My brother agreed with them. He said, “Sis, you just
take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of
mom and dad here.”

My husband became the director of his factory. We
asked my brother to accept the offer of being the
manager in the maintenance department. But my brother
rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a
repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder
repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was
sent to the hospital.
My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking
at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, “Why did
you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers
won’t do something dangerous like that. Now look at
you, You ar suffering a serious injury. Why didn’t you
just listen to us?”

With a serious ___expression on his face, he defended
his decision, “Think of brother-in-law. He just
became the director, and I being uneducated, and would
become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly
around?”

My husband’s eyes filled up with tears, and then I
said, “But you lack in education only because of me!”
“Why do you talk about the past?” he said and then he
held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years
old.
My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer
girl from the village.

During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies
asked him, “Who is the one person you respect and love
the most?”
Without even taking a time to think, he answered,” My
sister.” He continued by telling a story I could not
even remember.

“When I was in primary school, the school was in a
different village. Everyday, my sister and I would
walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I
lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me
one of hers.

She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When
we got home, her hands were trembling because of the
cold weather that she could not even hold her
chopsticks. >From that day on, I swore that as long as
I live, I would take care of my sister and will always
be good to her.”
Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their
attention to me.
I found it hard to speak, “In my whole life, the one I
would like to thank most is my brother,” And in this
happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were
rolling down my face again.

Love and care for the one you love every single days
of your life. You may think what you did is just a
small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

The Reason

Lady: Why do you like me..?
Why do you love me?

Man: I cant tell the reason.. but I really like
you..

Lady: You cant even tell me the reason...
How can you say you like me?
How can you say you love me?

Man: I really dont know the reason,
but I can prove that I love you.

Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the
reason. My friends boyfriend can tell her why
he loves her but not you!

Man: Ok ok!!! Erm... because youre beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements..

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met
an accident and became a vegetable.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and
here is the content:

Dearest,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No!
Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like
you.. Now that you cannot show them,
therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile, because of your every
movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move?
No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no
reason for me to love you anymore.

But does love need a reason?
I still love you... Because love doesnt need one.

Employees VS Boss

When you take too long, you're slow.
When your boss takes too long, he's thorough.

When you don't get it done, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't get it done, he's too busy.

When you make mistakes, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes mistakes, he's only human.

When you do something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the exact same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed and stubborn.
When your boss takes a stand, he's being firm.

When you overlook a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're "ars-kissing".
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wasting time.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you must be lying.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

I Do (Cherish You) – 98 Degrees Music Code

TOTAL MARITAL MISCOMMUNICATION !!

IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR PRIDE TO THE ONE YOU LOVE, THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE BECAUSE OF PRIDE. (so true.)

Story goes like this:
TOTAL MARITAL MISCOMMUNICATION !!
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever.
Cruel misunderstandings, one after the other, had disrupted the blissful footsteps in our family. Our original and noble intentions of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret was finally revealed at a stiff price and before we knew it, every thing became too late.
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move in with us from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young and mother had endured much hardship and struggled all throughout her own life to be able to provide for him and see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring her son, my hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room in the house, which has a balcony facing the South, to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. While going through my chores, Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning me round and round over his head. As I begged for him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big-sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling of him picking me up any moment. Whenever we had an argument, and both of us refused to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her when she joined us. For example; I was so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room and she could not stand it and would often comment: "I do not know how you young people can spend your money, what do you have to buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I would often smile to her tirades and would usually say: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother would continue to grumble away and hubby would just smile: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get used to it." Mother would usually stop saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much the flowers cost. I would tell her how much and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I came home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item and how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset. Hubby would playfully pinch my nose and would say: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything and that would solve it." There began the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hated it most when hubby would wake up early to prepare the breakfast. In her point of view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother's facial expression was always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it to show her silent protest.
As I was a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and I was usually exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I did not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I decided to turn a deaf ear to all the protests mother made. From time to time, mother would help out with some of the housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags, accumulate them so that she would sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent whenever she was helping wash the dishes. So as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash the dishes again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly re-washing the dishes, and "Bam", she slammed her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a very difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me during the entire night. I pretended to be a spoiled child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me again and you can feel the awkwardness of the situation hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who he would please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and would cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid that embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as the feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I was left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churning in my stomach and everything inside seemed to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious. Since mother arrived; I had been trying my best in putting up with her, what else did he want me to do? And for no reason at all, I kept having the feeling of throwing up and I simply had no appetite for food. Coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the lowest point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning and a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason why I threw up that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart softened, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he didn't know me; he had that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hailed a cab. At that moment, I had such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears rolled down my cheeks. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I laid on the bed thinking about my hubby and the look of disgust in his eyes. I cried and cried and wetted the corner of the blanket. That same night, the sounds of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money from the drawer. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intended to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love in money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears started streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and had a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people: That day, after mother left the house, she walked in daze toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...In his heart, I was indirectly the killer of his mother. Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night reeking of liquor. And me, I was buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breath. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we were going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I had at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I would rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding, though none of the events that happened had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continued, we were living together like strangers who didn't know each other. I was like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, as I passed by a western restaurant looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her. I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I had nothing to say to him, and there was no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looked at hubby, stood up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I could only hear my slow heart beat, beating one by one as if on the brink of death. I eventually backed down. If I had stood any longer, I would have collapsed, together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other follow. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I could tell that the cupboard had been touched. He had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wished to call him. The initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone. I went to my medical checkups alone. My heart broke again and again every time I saw a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby. I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having this baby. Perhaps it was my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table was a piece of paper. I know what this was all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I had gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I kept repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." My eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let the tears to come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.
Without even looking at what was written in the paper, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, you are pregnant?" Since mother's accident, that was the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but it's ok, you can leave now." He did not go. In the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over to me, his tears wetting the blanket. In my heart, everything seemed so far away, so far that even if I sprinted, I could never reach them. I could not remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I couldn't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We had drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it was
unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had happened in the past was gone forever and could never be repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that brought some warmth to my heart, I was totally cold towards him, I no longer ate anything he bought for me, I didn't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby would try to come into the bedroom, but when he walked in, I would walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I could hear light sounds of groaning. I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; whenever I ignored him, he would fake illness and I would surrender and find out what was wrong with him, then he would then grab me and laugh. He had forgotten that last time I cared for him and was concerned because there was love, but now, was there any more love between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off, continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of baby stuffs were stacked inside his room till the room was full. I know he was trying to use this to reach out to me, but I was no longer moved by his actions. He had no choice but to lock himself in his room where I could hear him typing away on his computer keyboard. Maybe now he is addicted to web surfing, but none of those mattered to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it was like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car and held my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brows throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warm body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me went in, his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and finally at me, his eyes filled with tears of joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth was, I had never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? The doctor said about 5 months ago and he consoled me, saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hit me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... The computer showed over 200 thousand words that he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall. It's my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestions... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there in my hubby's computer. Hubby had also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."
Going back to the hospital, hubby was still in coma. I brought our son over and placed him beside him. I said: "Open
your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son, still in his arms was happily waving his tiny
hands in the air. I pressed the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...
THE END

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.

This is beautiful! Try not to cry. She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him ?' The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.' Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more ? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?' The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.' Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.' Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :

'Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You' . I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess wha! t, Mom ? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom ? ;God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to give God His pen back now.. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be gr! eat.. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about that ? Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me...

song reflection of 12 days of christmas

One repeating Christmas story which is more legendary yet interesting in it's development as 'fact' (through the world-wide web vine) is about the origin of this popular Christmas song. This story is coming from the middle ages that Christmas was extended from a one-day celebration to a 12-day celebration. It begins with Christmas day and ends with the Epiphany twelve days later.

The story of the song develops that during this time period (mid-1500's to the early 1800's) people of the Catholic faith were being repressed by laws in England. To hide their Christianity but teach their faith, believers came up with a song that was a catechism for children to learn the Catholic faith, and each of the gifts was a clue to this.

In the song, 'My true love' refers to God, 'gave to me' refers to being baptized, and the 'partridge in the pear tree' is a direct reference to Jesus the Savior in the first verse of the song.


2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the "Pentateuch", whicH gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-Laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-Swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-Milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-Leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

Others believe the song was simply a delightful rhyme set to music. The song was developed and used as a "memory and forfeits game" that was played by the children of this time period. The game was played by a leader reciting the first verse, and continued around, each child reciting the next verse.

Many Christians do celebrate January 6 as the Epiphany, also known as the 12th Day of Christmas, the Twelfth Night, Three King's Day. The word epiphany means an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being; an illuminating discovery as when the Magi finally found the baby Jesus.

Note that this story does not have "hard evidence" as to the true nature of the song and is more likely anecdotal. It can certainly be used today to teach a part of Christianity. We repeat this story because it is a fun song to learn as well as other Christmas-related songs - no matter what your faith.

Creating a Space to Dance Together

When we feel lonely we keep looking for a person or persons who can take our loneliness away. Our lonely hearts cry out, "Please hold me, touch me, speak to me, pay attention to me." But soon we discover that the person we expect to take our loneliness away cannot give us what we ask for. Often that person feels oppressed by our demands and runs away, leaving us in despair. As long as we approach another person from our loneliness, no mature human relationship can develop. Clinging to one another in loneliness is suffocating and eventually becomes destructive. For love to be possible we need the courage to create space between us and to trust that this space allows us to dance together.

Beauty Around

We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide. There are trees and flowers to enjoy, paintings and sculptures to admire; most of all there are people who smile, play, and show kindness and gentleness. They are all around us, to be recognized as free gifts to receive in gratitude.
Our temptation is to collect all the beauty and goodness surrounding us as helpful information we can use for our projects. But then we cannot enjoy it, and we soon find that we need a vacation to restore ourselves. Let's try to see the beauty and goodness in front of us before we go elsewhere to look for it.

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in
New York City , where a woman may go to choose a
husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You may
visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men
increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man
from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit
the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store
to find a husband . ..
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and
love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to
keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign
reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the
housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

You have to learn to be grateful for what you have to get more. When you are ungrateful you end up with nothing.

TEN suggestions for a brighter future

1. Realize that life isn't always fair.
Accept what you must, and change what you can.

2. Think before you act. A moment of carelessness or anger can cause years of anguish and regret.

3. Look for the beauty in life, in people, in nature and in yourself.

4. Appreciate what you have. The people, the opportunities, the material possessions.

5. make tthe effort to have fun. it's a great way to bond wih others, and it makes some of the best memories.

6. set aside some time for yourself. do something you enjoywithout feeling even a little guilty.

7. accept others without judgement. everyone is unique, it's ok to be different.

8. forgive.bitterness and resentment hurt you more than the person you direct them at.

9.Learn. open your mind to new ideas and activities, and don't be afraid to try.

10. DREAM. make plans, believe in yourself, and go for what you want.

A MIRACLE OF $1.10

Tess was a precocious eight year old when she heard her Mom and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew. All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money. They were moving to an apartment complex next month because Daddy didn't have the money for the doctor bills and our house. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and it was looking like there was no-one to loan them the money. She heard Daddy say to her tearful Mother with whispered desperation, "Only a miracle can save him now."

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it! "And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question.
"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle." "I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist. "His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?" "We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little. "Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."
The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does you brother need?"
"I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. "I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money." "How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago. "One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to. "Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers." He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said, "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specialising in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.
"That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost... one dollar and eleven cents ...... plus the faith of a little child.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law......

The Ant and The Contact Lens

Dear Friend,
There are times in our life when we go through struggles and hardships
that we do not fully understand. It is important that in these times of
difficulty we remain faithful and strong in the Lord and know that He has
a purpose behind that situation. It is easy to get down and depressed when
burdens pile up, but remember God's Word is true and He is faithful to
bring you forth stronger and victorious in the end.
(Ephesians 6:10-13) (Hebrews 10:23)
This is a good story that shows how God has a purpose in everything that
He asks us to do. God will never lay something upon your heart without a
great purpose behind it. I hope this message encourages your heart to
continually trust the Lord and know that He has great plans for your life
even though you might not see it right now. (Jeremiah 29:11)

THE ANT AND THE CONTACT LENS
Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she
was very scared, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In
spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took a hold on the rope, and
started up the face of that rock.
Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was
hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda's eye and knocked
out her contact lens.
Here she is, on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet below her and hundreds
of feet above her! Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping
the lens had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn't there.
Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry. She was desperate and
began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her find her lens.
When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the
lens, but there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent,
with the rest of the party, waiting for the rest of them to make it up the
face of the cliff.
She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that
verse that reads, “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the
whole earth.” She thought, “Lord, You can see all these mountains. You
know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is.
Please help me.”
Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom. At the bottom, there
was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One
of them shouted out, “Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?”
That would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An
ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it on its back.
Brenda told me that her father is a cartoonist and when she told him the
incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a
picture of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, “Lord, I don't
know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully
heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for you.”
I think it would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, “God, I
don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it
and it's awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will.”
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Appreciate what you have

Today upon a bus,
I saw a lovely maid with golden hair.
I envied her - she seemed so gay - and wished I were as fair.
When suddenly she arose to leave,
I saw the cruel braces as she hobbled down the aisle;
a victim of polio was she.
But as she passed -- a smile! Oh, God,
forgive me when I whine.
I have two straight feet.
The world is mine!

And then I stopped to buy some sweets.
The lad who sold them had such charm.
I talked with him.
He said to me, "It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,"
he said, "I'm blind." Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes.
The world is mine!

Then walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play.
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word
and then I knew.... He could not hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two ears. The world is mine!

With feet to take me where I'd go,
with eyes to see the sunset's glow;
with ears to hear what I would know --
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I'm blessed indeed. The world is mine!


I would say then that we must be grateful of what we had even the littlest thing...Appreciating what we have is one of the best things ever.

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP

Something for you to ponder. Got a question.
>What's the difference
> between UNITED and UNTIED?

If you're not married yet, share this with a
friend. If you are married,
share it with your spouse or other married
couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get
married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment
to someone, don't let
lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance,
pressure from others or a low
self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eye s open, and
don't fool yourself that you can change someone
or that what you see as
faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time
his or her flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences
will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship
to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn to close one eye and not
let every little thing
bother you. You and your mate have many
different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses,
and strengths. You are two
unique individual children of God who have
decided to share a life
together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect
for each other? Do you
bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each
other, or do you compete,
compare, and control? What do yo u bring to the
relationship? Do you
bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain? You can't
take someone to the altar to alter him or her.
You can't make someone
love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual
discernment, and "a life", you
won't find yourself making someone else
responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the
ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and
lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are
the wrong reasons to be in
a relationship. What keeps a relationship
strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of
humor, sharing household
tasks, some getaway time without business or
children and daily
exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a
call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a
nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is
important. Grow together,
not away from each other, giving each other
space to grow without
feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have
outside interest. You can't
always be together. Give each other a sense of
belonging and assurances
of commitment. Don't try to control one
another. Learn each other's
family situation. Respect his or her parents
regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material
goods. Remember for richer
or for poorer. If these qualities are missing,
the relationship will
erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse,
neglect, dishonesty, and pain
replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is
where you put the i.

What If,,,

What if,
GOD couldn't take the time to bless us today because
we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?

What if,
GOD decided to stop leading us tomorrow because
we didn't follow Him today?

What if,
we never saw another flower bloom because
we grumbled when GOD sent the rain?

What if,
GOD takes away the sun, and there will never be sun
because we murmured when it hurts our skin?

What if,
GOD took away every creature He created because
we didn't recognize it everyday?

What if,
GOD didn't walk with us today because
we failed to recognize it as His day?

What if,
GOD took away the Bible tomorrow because
we would not read it today?

What if,
GOD took away His message because
we failed to listen to the messenger?

What if,
GOD didn't send His only begotten Son because
He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin.

What if,
the door of the church was closed because
we did not open the door of our heart?

What if,
GOD stopped loving and caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others?

What if,
GOD would not hear us today because
we would not listen to Him yesterday?

What if,
GOD answered our prayers the way
we answer His call to service?

Each of us in this life wants more than anything to be loved. We work for love. We strive for love. We make fools out of ourselves for love. We long to feel that love warming our hearts and souls. We strain our ears each day for just a whisper of those three glorious words: "I love you."

Thank you for loving me..

LOVE DIS...

I miss you honey

I just want to let you know how much you mean to me.missing you so much honey.

Women.

WOMEN have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry
hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

WOMEN wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend or
relative after a long way drive home.

WOMEN have special qualities about them. They volunteer for good
causes.

They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut ins.

they are childcare workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms,
biker babes and your neighbors. They wear suits, jeans, and they wear
uniforms.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice.

They are in the front row at PTA meetings. They vote for the person
that will do the best job for family issues.

WOMEN walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the right
schools and for getting their family the right health care.

They write to the editor, their congressmen and to the "powers that be" for things that make for a better life. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

WOMEN stick a love note in their husband's lunch box. They do without
new shoes so their children can have them. They go to the doctor with a
frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

WOMEN are honest, loyal, and forgiving they are smart, knowing that knowledge is power; but they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

WOMEN want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy (or cry) when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of
a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no
strength left.

A WOMAN'S touch can cure any ailment. They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart. She can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

WOMEN come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes,
apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to
show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman
is what makes the world spin!

WOMEN do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give
compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and
friends.

And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to
people you come in contact with. Women have a lot to say and a lot to
give.

Salvaging A Lost Cause, is there a hope for reconciliation?

Love Rules. You are on the verge of breaking up, but you know you both still really love each other. While there is not much hope left of salvaging the relationship, you sometimes find yourself thinking about how much you would like to start again. The trouble is you have no idea how to start, or even if it is possible.

If the above scenario sounds familiar, then how did it go so wrong? By now you know that there is a lot of resentment between you, but how did you both let it get so far? Everyone makes mistakes and has done things that they regret. The problem is that once you start making mistakes and doing things wrong, the natural inclination is to cover your tracks.

Dishonesty and lies lead to feelings of guilt and resentment. Feelings of guilt and resentment lead to more lies and arguments. Once you start to get sucked in, this vicious circle kicks in and the lies and arguments start to build on each other. Pretty soon you start justifying your actions. How? By blaming your partner: they don't understand you, they are too snippy and argumentative, and they don't love you anymore. When this happens on both sides of the relationship, you are on a fast track to a breakup or divorce.

In order to turn this around, it is going to take a lot of soul-searching and communication. You have to rebuild the trust between the two of you and let your partner know without a doubt that you love them and are willing to take responsibility for your actions. Even if the relationship cannot be completely salvaged, you will at least make the breakup easier on both of you.

The first thing to do is to realize that there was a time when you really loved each other. Think back to how you felt when you first met or first realized that you had romantic feelings for your partner. Try to go back and actually re-experience those feelings. How your heart skipped a beat whenever you saw them or even thought of them. Think of some of the really good times you had together, when you were happy. Realize that at one stage there really was something special between the two of you and it is at least worth trying to salvage the relationship.

Next, really take a look at all the things you did wrong. Don't fall into the trap of blaming your partner for everything, you played a big part in it too, and at this stage you really need to concentrate only on your actions. It would be a great idea to get a sheet of paper and right everything down. The point of this excercise is to release some of the guilt and resentment you feel towards your partner. In order for it to work, you have to come clean - at least to yourself!

Thirdly, write a letter to your love. Explain to them that you are really sorry about the way things turned out and that you realize that you have had a huge part to play in the fact that the relationship turned sour. Talk about how you felt when you first fell in love and remind them of all the great things that have happened to you while you have been together. In order for them to trust your sincerity, however, you are probably going to have to tell them some of the things you have done that you are ashamed of. The important thing is to take responsibility for your actions, let your partner know how how you feel about them and make sure you tell them that you would really like the chance to make it up to them. Invite them on a special date, for just the two of you, so you can sit down together and clear the air, and at the very least, part as friends.

Once you have completed the above, it is really up to the two of you to sit down and discuss things to see if you have a future together. Don't try to rush things, as trust can take time to build again. But, if you at least come clean about how you feel and make an appeal to your partner's heart, you have a better chance of making it than if you didn't.

Secrets of A Blissful Romance

How you live your life determines what kind of love you experience...
by Jennifer Good

If you don't try how will you know?

Remember how precious your loved one is. You never know if today is the last day you'll see them. Don't do something you'd regret if you never got a chance to see them again to make amends.

Being romantic means something different to everyone. To me it means being high spirited, completely carefree in love and willing to take the risk of truly loving someone with all your heart. Meaning: don't let embarrassment or shyness get in the way of showing your affection!

Hope is the motto for a romantic. Even if things don't work out perfectly today, who says it won't when the time is right? Don't give up without a worthy fight!

Love the one you're with. Why compromise what could possibly be a great relationship by not focusing on who you're with now. If you're not happy with it, leave. Otherwise, give your partner 100%. You'll find your attention will not go unreturned!

"Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities." -Sue Atchley Ebaugh

What is the ideal relationship to you? Write it down as specifically as you can. Decide to make your relationship as close to this model as possible. Whenever you feel the relationship falling, pull out that paper and remind yourself what you need to do to get it to your ideal state.

Remember, you are your own best counsel. Practice doing what you know is best for you today. By second guessing yourself, you're making yourself your own worst enemy.

Be the best you can be. If you don't think you're good at something, practice until you are! If this involves the subject of romance, learn as much as you can about being romantic and then DO those things! There is no excuse for not knowing OR doing!

Ponder the words of Torquato Tasso, "Any time not spent in love is wasted."

"People tend to question when you start something and worry about the ending; they forget that its the middle that counts the most."

Know who you are. Take the time to write down who you are and what you like. Don't write down what you'd like to be or who you think other people want you to be... only who you actually are. I think that in today's world a lot of people forget to just be themselves and be okay with it. So, today be okay with who you are!

Enjoy life! For one day, smile wherever you go. Pick flowers on the roadside. Instead of arguing, kiss and make up. Do something spontaneous. What's the point of working so hard if you don't take at least a few minutes to really enjoy it?

Sometimes... a heart can not afford to be... just friends!

Be there for your love, emotionally and physically (if possible). The comfort and bond you feel with someone you know is just there for you, can not be matched. So, leave a note or take a few moments out of your day to let your sweetheart or other loved one know that you are there for them.

"Love is like evergreens; they go through the roughest times but never fade."

Love isn't a one way street. It is something that needs to be maintained. If you find yourself falling out of love it's not because it doesn't exist between you anymore. It is because it isn't being created anymore. Make the time to follow the definition of romance. Make your partner feel loved!

"How long does youth last? So long as we are loved." -from the The Golden Book of Countess Diana

Sometimes we forget how valuable our significant other is. We get caught up in our day to day lives and our relationships end up suffering. Make some time to let your partner know how much you appreciate them being in your life. Even if it's just a quick note!

"To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." Remember, before you react to any situation think with your heart first. Really try to understand the motivation behind the other person's behavior. More often than not, there is some other situation you are unaware of that has prompted an attack. Try this tip and watch how upsets in your daily life decrease!

"Love cannot grow without passion." -Greek Proverb

"It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one a failure." -Herbert Louis Samuel

7 Secrets of a Successful Marriage

1. Be each other's support system.
You go through many things in a lifetime. It helps to know there is someone to help you shoulder the hard times. When your partner comes to you or needs an encouraging word, give it to them. Your vote of confidence can do wonders for your partner and in turn better your relationship.

2. Be able to compromise.
By now we should all agree that people can't always have their own way. Applying the art of compromise is a healthy solution to settling a disagreement. Be willing to look for new avenues for exchange in order to make things feel fair to your partner. You might try a back rub in exchange for dish washing duty or quiet time together in exchange for a guy's night out. Compromising can help you turn your differences into new ways to discover each other.

3. Express your love in a variety of ways.
Don't just say it; show it. Don't just show it; say it. In other words, find more than one way to express your affection for your partner. Variety is the spice that keeps a marriage together. Leave a love note under your partner's pillow. Write "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror. Hide a rose on your partner's car seat. Stop and give your partner a very unexpected weak-in-the-knees kiss. Mail a hand-written love letter. Avoid falling into a boredom rut by continually striving to try and do new things together.

4. Respect each other's individuality.
Encourage your partner to participate in individual interests they may have. In fact, take that encouragement a step further and occasionally join your partner in their favorite past time. You'll be showing your partner that you not only understand who they are, but that you love them exactly how they are as well.

5. Always leave on good terms.
Life is unexpected. No argument is worth parting ways while upset with each other. If you can keep this in mind, it will go a long way to helping you put certain aspects of your relationship in perspective. Learn to value your relationship enough to never let things get that out of hand.

6. Be kind and considerate to each other.
This may seem like a given, but how many times have you snapped at your partner under stress, or made an unnecessary remark? Words and the tone in which they're used leave a lasting imprint. You can use this to make your couple memories something you will happily look back upon…or not. Long-term married couples make kindness and respect toward their partner a crucial part of their daily lives.

7. Exploit each other strengths, not weaknesses.
Think of yourselves as a team. Together you are going to try and accomplish many things from buying a house, bettering your careers, raising children and more. If you spend your time nit-picking each other about what you're doing wrong, you're wasting valuable effort that could be put towards making your dreams come true. If you were to encourage a group of employees, you wouldn't tell them how horrible they are doing. You would start with positive, motivating statements. Learn to incorporate this towards each other. Find where each other's strengths are and use them to your ability. One of you may be a more sales type personality, the other the organizer. Find out where you fit and how you can use those traits to better your team of husband and wife.

This time my love its real

this time i know its real - norman saleet

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

Thumb represents your Parents
Second(Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth(Ring) finger represents your Life Partner & the
Last(Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back

Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse). You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

RULES OF GUYS FOR WOMEN

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good. ) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..

14. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

The 7 Killer Dating Mistakes

In your search for a great relationship, you shouldn’t just leave things to luck. There are many things that you can do that can enhance your dating experience. Unfortunately, though, there are also an awful lot of things that you can do to make sure that you’re a dating flop.

The following are the most common mistakes made by daters. Take the time to read and learn them so that you won’t make these mistakes too.

• The False Front – though it is important to look good when you’re dating, remember that you should always be realistic. If you do meet someone you like, you will be seeing that person a lot. In that case, you won’t be spending several hours getting ready every time. There is a difference between looking nice, and setting your date up for disillusionment. When you get ready, remember to be yourself. Look your best, look good, but make sure that it’s you in there! No false fronts.

• Availability – when you’re dating, it’s important to make yourself available when you find someone you like. After all, you’ve gone to an awful lot of effort to find a person who may qualify for a relationship. That person won’t stick around forever if you don’t put in some effort.

• Realistic Fun – relationships are often a lot of fun when they first get started. Everything is so fresh, exciting, and new. However, it doesn’t take long to discover that fun can only go so far. Make sure that you have other things in common, such as goals and values, if you want something long-term. Other than fun, you need to keep your eyes open for companionship, respect, love, and commitment. With those characteristics, you’re bound to have fun and a great relationship.

• Perfectionism – we all have our own fantasies about the right person. After building up this fictional Mr. or Ms. Right for so long, it can be hard to let a real person in. After all, real people are flawed. There is nothing wrong with having a dream. Just don’t let your dream block out a perfectly good person for a great relationship. Remember that it is our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us special. Instead of rejecting them, treasure them when they come in a great person.

• Immediacy – a relationship isn’t something that happens instantly. Though you may want a relationship immediately, unless you give it time to grow, you’ll only be disappointed. Give yourself the opportunity to meet people, get to know people, like people, and find the right person. By rushing into a relationship, you’re setting up for a fall.

• Needs – though love is very important in a relationship, there is a lot more to it than just one emotion. The Beatles song “All You Need is Love” is sweet, but isn’t the key to a long-term relationship. You (and your partner) have many needs, and they all need to be met for things to work. Love is only one of those needs. You also need to remember responsibility, appreciation, trust, intimacy, and many other important factors.

• Time – one of the hardest things to admit to yourself is that a person you’ve been seeing for a long time isn’t the person for you. You may have known it from the start of the relationship, but didn’t want to hurt any feelings. The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. While you’re dating, you’re testing out different people to find the right one for you. If you discover that you’re with the wrong person, the best thing you can do is stop. It’s only fair to yourself and to your partner.

By avoiding these most common mistakes, you’ll be much more certain to have a happy relationship. It will meet your needs and those of your partner. It will also last much longer, and through many more obstacles. Happy dating.

LOVE is...

Love is..
the strongest feeling known
an all-encompassing passion
an extreme strength
and overwhelming excitement

Love is..
trying not to hurt the other person
trying not to change the other person
trying not to dominate the other person
trying not to deceive the other person

Love is..
understanding each other
listening to each other
supporting each other
having fun with each other...

Love is..
not an excuse to stop growing
not an excuse to stop making yourself better
not an excuse to lesson one's goals
not an excuse to take the other person for granted

Love is..
being completely honest with each other
finding dreams to share working towards common goals
sharing responsibilities equally
Love is not a feeling to be taken lightly
Love is a feeling to be cherished nurtured and cared for
Love is the reason for life.

If You Want to Change the World... LOVE A WOMAN

If you want to change the world... love a woman-really love her. Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn't make sense. Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen. Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing- every winged one, every furry and scaled one, every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one, every not yet born and dying one... Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life. If you haven't heard your own name yet, you haven't listened long enough. If your eyes aren't filled with tears, if you aren't bowing at her feet, you haven't ever grieved having almost lost her.

If you want to change the world... love a woman-one woman beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason, beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety and all your superficial concepts of freedom.

Look into Her eyes and see-really see if she is the one to bring the axe to your head. If not, walk away. Right now. Don't waste time "trying." Know that your decision has nothing to do with her because ultimately it's not with who, but when we choose to surrender.

you want to change the world... love a woman. Love her for life-beyond your fear of death, beyond your fear of being manipulated by the Mother inside your head. Don't tell her you're willing to die for her. Say you're willing to LIVE with her,

If you want to change the world... love a woman, just one woman. Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel. Love her through her fear of abandonment which she has been holding for all of humanity. No, the wound is not hers to heal alone. No, she is not weak in her codependence.

What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered through the heart of Woman?

What if a man's love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine is the key to opening Her heart?

God's Timing is Right and All Perfect!

God's Timing is Right & ALL Perfect !!

What ever that happens in life, happens for a good reason......so stop worrying about the future and forget the past.

After Sept. 11th, one company invited the remaining members of other companies who had been decimated bythe attack on the Twin Towers to share their availableoffice space. At a morning meeting, the head ofsecurity told stories of why these people were alive......and all the stories were just the 'L I T T L E' things.

"As you might know, the head of the company survivedthat day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn tobring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid."

That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone.... all the littlethings that annoy me. I think to myself, this isexactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, thechildren are slow getting dressed, you can't seem tofind the car keys, you hit every traffic light,don't get mad or frustrated.

God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoyinglittle things and may you remember their possible purpose.

This WOman Worth

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he waspursuing the question, "What kind of man are youlooking for?" She sat quietly for a moment beforelooking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really wantto know?" Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound... " As a woman in this day andage, I am in a position to ask a man what he can dofor me that I can't do myself. I pay my own bills. Itake care of my household with out the help of anyman...or woman for that matter. I am in the positionto ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she wasreferring to money. She quickly corrected his thoughtand stated "I am not referring to money. I needsomething more. I need a man who is striving forperfection in every aspect of life." He sat back inhis chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is strivingfor perfection mentally because I need conversationand mental stimulation. I don't need a simple mindedman.

I am looking for someone who is striving forperfection spiritually because I don't need to beunequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers isa recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfectionfinancially because I don't need a financial burden. Iam looking for someone who is sensitive enough tounderstand what I go through as a woman but strongenough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In orderto be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot besubmissive to a man who isn't taking care of hisbusiness. I have no problem being submissive... hejust has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't helphimself. When she finished her spiel, she looked athim. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. Hesaid "You are asking a lot."

She replied "I'm worth a lot."

How to recognize your soulmate

The first time I wrote about soulmates on 14 February 1987 in a magazine supplement of a major Philippine newspaper, it was an instant sensation. People started talking about it and many even clipped, reproduced and distributed it to close friends.

The first to talk about soul mates and describe their characteristics ws an American psychic and prophet, Edgar Cayce, who died in 1945. In one trance reading,he defined soul mates as two souls, who after a series of reincarnations together become so close to each other that their destinies are intertwined, and one becomes a helpmate to the other in his or her soul evolution. One is the perfect half of the other, making up a whole piece. You can't have one without the other.

After I wore the article on soul mates, the term became popular in the local media and even in casual conversations. It has also generated a lot of questions, the most common of which is, "How do I know if I have met my soul mate?" The following then are the characteristics of a soul mate encounter: first, an irrisistible force that draws the two together; second, there is absolute certainty that the personis one's soul mate; third, the relationship is total and complete at all levels of their being; fourth, absence of guilt, and fifth, it is soul expanding. Let's discuss the characteristics in a more detailed manner.

Irrisistible Force. When it's time for the soul mates to meet, there is nothing on earth that can prevent them from meeting, no matter where each may be located on planet Earth. They will surely meet. No social, moral, political, racial,legal or religious barrier can set them apart.

Chronological or physical age does not matter. They may be years apart in age, but what is important in a soul mate encounter is that they have the same soul age, not necessarily the same chronological age. They share the same pattern of soul evolution.

Absolute Certainty. When soul mates meet, they recognize each other from the very depths of their souls or being. Sometimes, their mind or intellect may fight the soul recognition probably because of social or religious considerations. But deep in their very souls, they know they are meant for each other. This is evident at the very first meeting. Intuitively, they will know.

Should there be mutual recognition, or is it enough that one knows even if the other doesn't? In a true soul mate encounter, there is at once soul recognition by both partners. They know they have met their other half.

Relationship is total. Most of our relationships with other people are not based on the totality of our being but only on some aspects of it. For instance, one may relate to another on a purely physical level like a one-night stand of sex with an acquaintance or a paid partner. Or one may relate to another on a purely mental state of professional basis, like a business partnership or commercial encounter. Or one may relate to another on a purely spiritual level, like a priest to his parishioners or a friendship that is platonic.

In a soul mate encounter, one relates to the other in totality of his or her being. The relationship is at once physical, etheric, emotional, mental astral and spiritual, with the mental and spiritual levels playing a more important role compared to the other levels. That is why a soul mate encounter is so strong and so irrisistible.

Absence of Guilt. Because of centuries of religious teachings based on fear, sin and eternal damnation, people grow up having a lot of guilt feelings.

A very strong attraction one has towards the opposite sex, for instance, can generate unwanted feelings of guilt. Such an attraction can be mistaken for a mere lust. But in the real soul mate encounter, there is no feeling of guilt at all. You are sure it is the right thing to do, or it is the proper feeling, no matter what the circumstances are.

According to General Jampolsky, "Love is letting go of fear," paraphrasing the basic teaching found in A Course in Miracles which was dictated by a highly evolved spirit to Helen Schucman in the seventies. "The opposite of love is fear," the course says, "not hate."

Soul Expanding. A soul mate helps you in your soul evolution. He or she is not a bed mate or a sex partner alone. The very term indicates that a soul mate is the companion of the soul in its ever arduous journey towards perfection.

A soulmate encounter is spiritually uplifting. And although the other aspects of one's being, like the physical and emotional levels, are also satisfied, the spiritual aspects of the relationship are ever present and are manifested in various ways.

A soul mate leads you to God and to your spiritual destiny. He or she helps you achieve faster soul evolution and awareness. If it doesn't do this, it is not a soul mate encounter; it may be something else masquerading as one.

There may be other characteristics of soul mate relationships, but the above should give you an idea of what a soul mate could be.

Another question often asked is: Why do we seldom meet our soul mate? In fact, many find themselves married to a non-soul mate. Why?

The simplest answer is karma. We still have to work out our karma with other individuals before we are ready to meet our soul mate. So it is not advisable to be in search of one's soul mate. He or she will come when the time for your meeting is already at hand. You may have decided this in a previous lifetime together with your soul mate. In the meantime, you have to learn to accept your present love partner for there is always a reason why you are with a particular person.